finally home.

matty matt went home this morning. home to Jesus.

we will post something soon about donating to the adoption fund in lieu of flowers, etc.

"e"'s book

as we sat around this afternoon, "walking matt home", "e" wrote her first book. she drew each of these pages carefully, making sure to draw the family in the exact outfits that they were in for their family photo last week. she then dictated to "r" word for word what she wanted the book to say. next, she took some tape, and bound it. she made it for matt to take with him, after Jesus takes him home.


in case you can't see the words well:
"matty matt, i hope you have a fun time in heaven."
"this is our family. i hope that you remember me and "j"."
"matty matt. i hope you remember how i used to hold you and feed you."
"i will be praying for you while you are in heaven."
"at christmas, i will remember you."

she is such an old soul. she talked and talked to matt this afternoon, just telling him to have fun in heaven, that she loves him, that his cheeks are so cute, etc. her innocence and her honesty continue to remind us that matt is going to a better place. matt will live with Jesus very very soon. and that's GOOD! it's GOOD! yes, we'll miss him. so very much. but he will be with our Savior, our Creator, our God. forever. and if we know Jesus, then we get to see him again. and "e" gets that. and it's such a good reminder to me. amazing what i can learn from a five year old.

praying goodbye

Last night we all knelt around Matt and held his small, weakened hands. We prayed thanks to God for allowing us to keep Matt for this short while. I thanked Him for the sister He has grown in “E” and the brother He has grown in “J,” and for the laborious hours of love and sleeplessness “R” has poured into loving Matt as only a mother does for her son. We shed tears as we prayed goodbye.

“Dada,” ‘E’ then says with tears on her face, “let’s read ‘J’ the story of Jesus dying on the cross so he can know how to get to heaven. “

And that is the story of Matt. Even in his weakest moment, with barely a breath left in his gaunt little body, God’s love and goodness cry out. Matt has changed our hearts and widely touched people around us, many of whom I have never even met. Now more than ever, God uses Matt to point our hearts to the gospel in the most desperate of ways.

Watching the process of flesh turning back to the dirt from which God formed it is painful and horrific. We can hardly bear to undress Matt for a bath. It is obvious our little boy is going home soon and we can feel the weight of an earthly lifetime of missing him looming. Our hope, however, is this: the suffering of this world is not worthy to be compared to the glory which will one day be revealed (Rom 8:18).

So have hope, my friends. If your heart breaks with ours at the coming loss of little Matt, let it be to God’s glory. Let our hearts break that we are “on the wrong side of the door,” as C.S. Lewis put it. Let us long to be there, with Christ, someday.

Last night in our circle around Matt, we imagined what he might look like in heaven. Can you imagine what it will be like for him to run and smile and laugh and do all of the magnificent things that he will do there? We will all wait patiently for Matt to leave his earthly body, glad to hold him another minute. In the future, however, we will wait very impatiently for our faith to become sight.

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him(1 Thes 4:13).

"S"

emotion and eyelashes.

no words. just pics.

the final mile

We don't know quite where we are with Matt, but it looks as though we are in the last stretch. The last two weeks have been very difficult for all of us. Please continue to pray God would be glorified in the midst of our suffering and the separation to come.

"r"

have you ever

seen such a perfect little face.... matt turned 3 months old a couple days ago. i'll let "r" update on how he's doing, but please continue to pray for him and for the family. just wanted to post a pic of the munchkin.

please help protect health care provider's right of conscience

dear all:

The Obama Administration is in the process of eliminating the protections in place to affirm health care provider's right of conscience. Before the Administration can remove these protections through the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the Department must take public comment. You can comment up until April 9th by accessing the following website:

http://www.freedom2care.org/

Simply click on the appropriate button, "Patient" or" Health Care Provider," at the top of the web page under the heading, "Send My Message to the Government."

Regardless of our varying positions on abortion, I think we can all agree that we want our health care providers to be free to utilize their moral and ethical faculties when providing our care.

Please take action immediately. You can learn more about the issue and view the legislation to be rescinded at the above cite. The Christian Medical and Dental Associations (CMDA) has also prepared several videos on the issue available at: http://www.cmda.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Right_of_Conscience&TEMPLATE=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm&CONTENTID=21504

This may not seem to have a lot to do with Matt, however, we believe this has everything to do with maintaining the freedom to object to participating in the elimination of babies just like Matt. By taking Matt into our home, we hope to in some small part follow the biblical mandate to overcome the evil of unwanted and orphaned children through the good of adoption. (Romans 12:21). The following is a statement by Mother Theresa that I believe sums up the connection b/w loving Matt and protecting the free NOT to participate in what we believe is unethical behavior:

Each one of us is here today because we have been loved by God who created us and our parents who accepted and cared enough to give us life. Life is the most beautiful gift of God. That is why it is so painful to see what is happening today in so many places around the world: life is being deliberately destroyed by war, by violence, by abortion. And we have been created by God for greater things - to love and be loved.

I have said often, and I am sure of it, that the greatest destroyer of peace in the world today is abortion. If a mother can kill her own child, what is there to stop you and me from killing each other? The only one who has the right to take life is the One who has created it. Nobody else has that right: not the mother, not the father, not the doctor, no agency, no conference, no government.

I am sure that deep down in your heart, you know that the unborn child is a human being loved by God, like you and me. How can anyone knowing that, deliberately destroy that life? It frightens me to think of all the people who kill their conscience so that they can perform an abortion. When we die, we will come face to face with God, the Author of life. Who will give an account to God for the millions and millions of babies who were not allowed to have the chance to live, to experience loving and being loved?

God has created a world big enough for all the lives He wishes to be born. It is only our hearts that are not big enough to want them and accept them. If all the money that is being spent on finding ways to kill people was used instead to feed them and house them and educate them - how beautiful that would be. We are too often afraid of the sacrifices we might have to make. But where there is love, there is always sacrifice. And when we love until it hurts, there is joy and peace.

--STATEMENT BY MOTHER TERESA SENT TO THE CAIRO INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON POPULATION AND DEVELOPMENT ON SEPT. 9, 1994

Loving Matt hurts like crazy, but I am confident this pain is a sacrifice God will use to bring joy and peace to all of us. Please help us to continue this work by allowing health care providers such as my husband to practice within the constraints of "do no harm."

"r"