Matt's head continues to grow at an alarming rate, which means sleepless nights, frequent feedings, vomiting, and discomfort for Matt. It is hard thing to watch one's son die. Between the Tylenol, constant rocking, diapering, and tears, God still blesses our days with peace and joy. (Matt's actual pain is minimal due to massage, gentle vertical rocking, and occasional medication; so, please don't imagine him suffering. He spends his time being rocked, kissed, and cuddled in peace. He is, despite his condition, one of the most pleasant babies I have ever had the privilege to care for. The vomiting we have also learned to control through frequent small feedings and positioning).
Unfortunately, however, by the time I feed Matt 1-2 ounces every 1-2 hours, rock, change, massage, and bath him, there is little time left to care for the needs of our other two small children. As God allows, my priority is to provide for "e&j"s material and spiritual needs as well as those of my wonderful and terribly, exhausted husband. There is little time for anything else: I still have Christmas nail polish on my nails! It is hard for me to remember to pay the bills, much less return phone calls or emails. (I think what I am trying to say is that we are all doing amazingly well, but to insure Matt isn't in pain and everyone else is being loved, we don't have much time left to love on others we care so much about).
I was able to rock Matt for awhile tonight while I watched "e&j" take their bath. It was lovely to rock and sing to him knowing that someday soon he will be taking in the real celebration in heaven. If I get the chance, I will rock him to that beautiful music again. Everything else can wait, "I am rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"
Please continue to pray that God will help me to keep my priorities in line with His priorities for me as outlined by Titus 2:5. It would seem that not a day goes by now that I haven't disappointed someone or even lots of someones. Encourage us to keep godly priorities--especially time in His word--because more than any other kind of help, we crave grace. Please cover us in love and overlook our frailties, and by so doing, you will have given us God's best gift to us all. grace and peace to you.